« "I breathed into its beak, and its dad-gum eyes popped open," | Main | I fake remember this »

I've Won A Major Prize!

This came in the mail (again) today. Lacking judgement, I made the call. Here's the resulting conversation.
RE: Your guaranteed prize: New Mercedes, BMW or Porsche, value $49,000 or $40,000 cash, or a $1,500 shopping spree, or a 5 day/4 night Exotic Island Adventure, $806 value, or $500 Cash.

RE: Your Guaranteed Gift: Your choice of a luxury 4-day Royal Carribean Cruise with meals and entertainment for two, value $1,398 or pre-paid round trip airfare and two nights hotel accomocations for two to your choice of Las Vegas or Orlando, value $1,250!

So, after the FOURTH urgent letter reminding me I was a guaranteed winner I succumbed and called the number. You guessed it, a time-share in the Hill Country. I played along...
Excited phone operator: Are you married?
Me: No, but I do have a life partner (come on...this is gonna be fun..I'm in Texas for Christ's sake!)
Excited phone operator: Are you legally married in some state then?
Me: No, we can't get married..it's illegal. (Sounding sad)
Excited phone operator: Well, that's ok. You can bring him with you! We'd love to meet both of you!
Me: (thinking...Damn...that didn't work) Bring him for what?
Excited phone operator: Well we'd like to show you our property in the Hill Country. A 90 minute tour of our resort and then you'll be guaranteed one of those major prizes (she listed each one again). And surely you are going to drag him along with you, aren't you?
Me: I'm not buying anything. I'm not renting anything. This is a waste of your major prizes on me...and my (fictional) partner.
Excited phone operator:That's ok, we don't advertise but getting you out to get a tour is a great way for you to spread the word even if you don't buy! You are over 21, right? And you have a full-time job, right?
Me: Yes, but I will not qualify to buy property and I'm not buying a time-share in the Hill Country of Texas.
Excited phone operator: That's ok! Can we see you on the 19th at noon for our tour?! Let's confirm that and then after the tour you'll receive a MAJOR PRIZE!
Me: Ugh, I guess.

So, knowing full well this is a scam. Have you ever done anything like this? Do you get like a $40 camera or something as your MAJOR PRIZE when you walk out of there? And do I have to take out a craigslist ad for a fictional life partner to join me on this trip to get a $40 crap digital camera as my MAJOR PRIZE? And..if I do find someone to act as my life partner can we go in matching outfits and make all the other Texan middle-class duped couples there feel as uncomfortable as possible? Possibly ruining sales because a homo couple may be buying something there?

February 8 at 5:47 PM