I will no longer complain that my boy lives in Beufort for most of the year, a scant 76 miles or 1.5 hours away.

Trust me - that's not even the worst part about a long-distance relationship...

A long-distance relationship is sort of like eating cake icing for dinner: it will probably sustain you, but it's really unhealthy.

You get what you settle for ;)

Both of the above comments sound a little 'cynical' and negative. Just sayin'

Not cynical. Just factual. I've been in two LD relationships, and both have been just that - sustaining, but in the long run, unhealthy. I think pretty much anyone who has done the LD thing for any amount of time will agree with me on that.

What I was trying to say was that you should not plan on doing a long-distance relationship for the long haul. The only ones I know that work are ones that have a "fixed timetable for withdrawal", as it were. Perhaps the comment I left above left room for interpretation.

To sum it up: once the new wears off, it's not easy to be in limbo about whether someone is moving/both of you are moving/anyone's moving at all. I've done two LD relationships that were kind of nebulous, where we "played it by ear", and neither worked. My suggestion to you is to set milestones, and eventually a time certain for the two of you to be in the same city. Have a very candid conversation early on. That way everyone knows where things are going, and there's "light at the end of the tunnel."

Hopefully that sounds like practical advice from a friend who has been through this scenario a few times and doesn't want to see other folks have to endure the same hardships unnecessarily. I certainly didn't mean to come of as a cynic throwing stones.

CH, I appreciate your clarification.

CH said what I would have said, but much better. Being up front about what each of you wants clarifies each person's intentions and expectations. The one that worked for me for 8 years? I spelled it out from the start: you're either in this for the long haul or wasting my time--so--which is it?

Then again, this is the boy I gave back to his mama, but I can say that he was up-front about being serious until things went so badly out of control that he couldn't deal with them. 9/11 really rampaged the Detroit area even tho there were only 4 terrorists ever found there. Pretty lousy excuse but I can almost see where he was coming from now.

Anyhow, all babbling aside, CH does have some good points there.